Our happiness depends on the stories we tell ourselves

Our happiness depends on the stories we tell ourselves If you are a person who loves your garden, people send you pictures of your garden. Its a way of saying thank you for making a nice place to enjoy. But since I am dense when it comes to social skills, I used to think people were stupid for sending me pictures of my own garden. I saw my garden every day. Now  I covet those pictures. The pain I feel from missing my garden ripples through all of  my life. I dont want to eat the kale from the Co-op  because I used to grow enough kale for ten families. I dont want to walk through Swarthmore where theres a hydrangea in every yard because I used to have  twenty different types of hydrangeas, crafted perfectly along my  winding paths. The pain of the end is that you are so good at that thing. At that life you make. I remember when I stopped playing volleyball. It was so difficult to not go to the beach every day. It had been my job for eight years. I felt lost going to an office. I was a beach volleyball player. A beach volleyball player writing my novel. A beach volleyball player on a date. Not playing volleyball  never felt quite right until  I had a baby.  Then I felt so weird being a parent. Because it meant I was no longer a kid myself. I was more focused on losing that identity than I was on my newborn. Volleyball didnt seem so important then. Lost identity is relative, I guess. Volleyball ended like that. My childless life ended like that. And my garden ended abruptly as well. When I decide its time for change it happens quickly. I deal with the emotional trauma of it later. So my garden is gone and I  feel lost. Unfulfilled.  Its hard to see myself as only  a mom. But there is no more of me that is not just a mom. I am becoming sort of an eccentric mom figure whose previously-full-feeling life is suffocating under the weight of her kids daily schedules. You know that type, for sure. Its the mom you hate. The mom you never want to be. And never want to marry. A big reason you hate that type of mom is she vents a lot. And people who express positive emotions are contagious.  If all you see are good parts of life slipping out from under you, out of your control, thats a narrative of  endings. And its a narrative for unhappy people. Instead, Heather Vough at University of Cincinnati finds that  you should tell yourself you made a decision to do something else. Then you are a happy person in control of your life. Like, I traded volleyball for graduate school. I made that choice. The narrative we tell ourselves matters. Cashing out. Having an epiphany. These are the narratives about endings that  enhance ones  sense of self. Im trying to find a good narrative for my garden. Right now all I can think is that no one is taking care of it and its becoming a big mess. Or I am thinking the garden is beautiful and no one is enjoying it. No one is even noticing. If youre great at what youre doing and then you stop, its almost like a breakup. You have to separate from your confident, capable self and go back to square one with your uncertain, bumbling beginner self. Its hard. And people dont enjoy doing  it. The silver lining of any ending is that Im a master at navigating  the five stages of grief. So Im telling myself  I can go back after the kids grow up. Maybe thats true. I dont know. But this is easily identifiable as the bargaining stage, and if you can identify your stage of grief you can start to get a grip. Getting a grip seems like an improvement. So maybe I should write about that instead, because people cope with endings much more easily if they write down positive aspects of their day at the end of each day. The farmer just stopped paying for farm  Internet. And he doesnt do the  phone. Hes never talked on the phone. So its unclear how much I will talk with him between now and ten years from now. And my garden will have gone to hell by then. Maybe Ill marry someone else who has a  garden. Maybe Ill get smart enough about relationships to not marry people for their gardens. Maybe I can tell myself the boys outgrew the garden and I did what any good mother would do. I helped my kids grow into the people they want to be. Maybe I am a gardener of children. You  can only write saccharine sentences about gardens of children if you follow it with one about snakes hiding in the peonies and eating just-born kittens in a gulp. Its a writing rule for writers who dont want to suck. The last stage of loss acceptance is not about even about being settled, let alone happy.  Its about being numb. So I am going have to come up with some really great silver-lining type story about how not having my garden is great for me in order to drag myself out of my post-garden stupor. Melissas way to offer compassion is to send me good links, and one was  about how  getting your heart rate up  keeps you young.  I cant figure out how to tell a story of me and my garden that will make me happy. But in the meantime Im running intervals each morning, because  when I do finally figure out that story, I dont want to be too old to jump for joy.

Ready Steady Work How to be ready for Your First Workday

Ready Steady Work How to be ready for Your First Workday Photo Credit â€" Pexels.comThese tips will work for anyone who has just scored a new job or for those who are still looking for employment. It is important to make a good first impression at your new workplace. Your first impression will determine how others view you and it could be positive or negative.?It takes time to build relationships at a new job, but it does not have to be threatening in any way. Here are my tips of being ready for your first day at work.1. AttitudeBefore anything else, it is important to have a positive attitude about starting work. I know a lot of people are nervous and scared, but try and cover those feelings up with a smile. It is a bit intimidating, but you will soon learn to fit in and will be comfortable in no time.eval? No one likes a negative individual and you are going to walk through those doors as a team member.2. AppearanceYou want to present a professional appearance when you show up at your workplace. Even if you are required to wear uniform, you can still be neat and clean. If you look at resume writing services prices, you do not want to go back to being unemployed.?It is said that someone will form an opinion about you within 7 seconds. This is powerful and you should use it to your advantage by dressing as professional as you can.3. Be on timeThis is the one day when you cannot afford to be late. In fact, you should try and always be on time, but let’s just discuss the importance of this on your first day. I know that life happens and things come up, but you should do all you can to be at work on time.?Pay attention to the patterns of people at work. It’s usually the successful ones who are there on time and most of the time they are the last to leave. Show that you are committed to making this work.4. Take notesThere will be an orientation session and you want to gather as much information as you can on your first day. If you take notes, you are able to go over those on your commute home or once you reach home. Do not think that you are going to remember everything that is said.?You do not want to come back the next day and ask questions that have already been covered. This is an easy way to be perceived as unorganized. You do not want to be searching for cheap resume writers again, so give this all you have.56.. Stay away from gossipevalIt is so easy to get into office politics on your first day, because those who are unhappy at work will be the first to try and catch you up on office gossip. Stay away from these people or merely try and avoid talking about other people in the office.?You are not here to make friends, but to do your job. There is nothing wrong with trying to be friendly, but you just want to avoid being caught up in the drama in your early days.6. Be confidentYou got this job because someone saw potential in you. Do not underestimate and exude an attitude of confidence at all times. A good way to do this is to greet everyone in a friendly manner and wear your smile as if it is in fashion to do so.?Be yourself at all times as there will be people who will relate to you. Try and spark conversation with your fellow co-workers and keep it to professional conversations.7. Ask questionsevalThis is the time when you should be asking as many questions as you can. Do not be afraid of sounding ignorant and keeping your questions to yourself. By asking the right kind of questions, you can also present yourself as someone is simply trying to add as much knowledge about the job as possible.?Just keep in mind that you should always listen to the answers and make notes, so that you don’t repeat yourself the next day.ConclusionEveryone has butterflies in their stomachs on the first day at school, college, university and work. You could always go write resumes for money, or you could grow in your career (unless your job is to write resumes). Show that the recruiter or employer did not make a mistake in hiring you, by being as professional as you can.?Do the best y ou can at all times and stay organized. Before you know it, a month would have passed and you will be an integral part of the office team.? Remember that confidence is definitely the key to your success. Good luck for your first day at work and show them what you are made of.

Top Social Media Trends for 2018 [Infographic]

Top Social Media Trends for 2018 [Infographic] A few years ago social media and revenue growth was about as much a sure thing as internet companies built on future monetization models right before the dot com crash.   They were all castles built built on sand.   Soon to be washed away. Well over the last several years companies have started to figure out Social Media a little more.   Facebook has gone from a platform that was for sharing pics and family and friends and Farmville to a serious business tool.   Gone was the focus of businesses on building a Business Page on Facebook and hoping they will come.   Now it is targeted ads, leveraging Facebook groups, and Facebook livecasts to better engage followersand convert them into buyers. In the same way YouTube went from a cool video platform to the #2 search engine behind Googleand now owned by Google. And Snapchat has become a major player in the space. So what does 2018 have in store in the social media domain?   Where will you focus your efforts?   And your time and dollars? Well this infographic from Filmora  gives you a look under the hood. Check it out. Photo by  ccPixs.com  on  Foter.com  /  CC BY

Resume Writing Business Model - When a Resume Should Have a Sales Training

Resume Writing Business Model - When a Resume Should Have a Sales TrainingA successful Resume Writing Business Model is built on a solid foundation of experience. And the experience that should be in your resume is a robust, rich portfolio. Any job seeker worth their salt should not focus solely on writing resumes, but rather should be selling themselves, their talents and skills to employers.Writing a resume is not all about glamour, it's about presenting yourself as a viable option for the employer. But the goal of writing a resume is not to impress the employer, it's to get an interview. By this time you've already sold yourself, your skills and talents and are just waiting for the employer to make the offer. A professional Resume Writing Business Model should follow this formula.List your achievements. Be sure to include your professional work history, your awards and recognition that you may have been given. Once again be sure to take the focus off of what you don't have and foc us on what you do have that the employer can find value in. Include your past jobs, and if possible, the work experience that is pertinent to your next job opening.Write a cover letter that fits your qualifications. For many job seekers, they forget that a strong cover letter really does make or break the interview. For the most part it will be the only chance for the employer to see that you are the one who is going to fulfill the job requirement.One final detail, always use your previous employer as a way to introduce yourself to the employer. This is an excellent way to showcase your skills and knowledge in the particular field.The Resume Writing Business Model is all about selling yourself to the employer. Never be distracted by covering letters, ghostwriters or any other outside opportunities. All of these services, whether they are a part of your Business Model or not, need to be appropriately considered at the time of hiring.Another good thing about having a Sales Training in your CV is that it shows a professional, yet down-to-earth approach to your work. Most recruiters will consider this a plus, especially when it comes to the ability to relate to current work situations. If you've got to send a cover letter or some other form of writing to your potential employer, then they'll have a little more confidence in your ability to do the job. A professional Resume Writing Business Model has the potential to make the difference between a new employee and an experienced employee.With all of these considerations, it really is important to remember that the point of having a Sales Training in your resume is to present yourself as a viable option for the employer. In order to do this, you have to build an impressive Resume Writing Business Model.

Prepare For High Schools Teaching Resume Writing Job

Prepare For High Schools Teaching Resume Writing JobAre high schools teaching resume writing one of the primary activities that are required to create a good employment history? Absolutely. These are among the best opportunities to achieve a higher salary, a good job or any other benefit in this society.However, this is an important task to perform and it's also one of the more difficult. In fact, if you have not spent your whole life in education, there is a real possibility that you'll end up becoming a hopeless case. Yes, that's right, this is a very difficult task that you must do. And even if you're a member of the best high school program in the world, you should still continue your studies to produce a good resume.The first thing that you have to do to prepare yourself for the high schools teaching resume writing job is to acquire a student membership to a variety of online teaching forums. Many schools will post their special initiatives and school activities on these forums. If you attend to these forums regularly, you will find the following information to be useful.In addition, you can also get in touch with the job providers who will offer you the most services and the most competitive job fairs in your area. Even though the list may be pretty long, there are some job fairs where you can find numerous jobs that would provide you a decent salary. In fact, many of these job fairs are held in the evenings so as to accommodate students who are studying or cannot find any jobs to do that time.However, you should be prepared to not only work for those employers who would give you more time, but you should also be prepared to work for those who pay you well. You have to make sure that you have found a job with a good reputation. It's not enough to just get an interview; you have to have a great resume to impress the employer.Writing a resume, in addition to being essential, is also considered to be one of the most difficult jobs to do. So, it's highly reco mmended that you first attend to some workshop that would teach you how to write a good resume. Most online software packages are available that can help you in writing a resume.Since most employers will want to hire people with a good background, it is also good practice to do some research on your own so as to find out what opportunities are available in your particular field. Even if it is the high schools teaching resume writing job, you have to make sure that you continue to work hard so as to get it.

Resume Reviewer: No Longer a Mystery

Resume Reviewer: No Longer a Mystery Resume is among the absolute most productive tools for job search. As an increasing number of resumes and applications are submitted electronically, or are scanned by means of a computer, the significance of utilizing the appropriate keywords increases. To begin, you have the choice to import your Word or LinkedIn resume. If you've got the distinctive qualifications listed, make sure they're explicitly included in your resume. If you take advantage of an objective, please make sure it's particular to the position to which you're applying. When you extract your skills acquired at your various positions, you have started to unravel the fabric that constitute your specific abilities that could be an asset to prospective employers. The Lost Secret of Resume Reviewer Ensure that your resume is giving you the very best chance of being hired for the roles and organizations which make a very good match for you as well as the organization curren tly hiring. Be certain your resume is tailored to every job you're applying for. Now everybody knows that job search may not be that effective without a well-written resume. To begin with, determine its objective, decide what type of job that you would like to get. The Demise of Resume Reviewer The great majority of Resume readers want to observe a chronological and bullet-point oriented Resume. Additionally, be very careful to be sure the letter you're submitting matches the job that you desire. It is preferable to have a lot of resumes focused on unique aspects than a general one. Learn the name of whoever will be reviewing resumes to figure out which candidates to interview. The Secret to Resume Reviewer After all, the recruiter does not have enough time to read your document line by line to specify if you're a fit. When you are accustomed to a specific format of Resume, you condition your brain to be in a position to rapidly review the document. The individual who reviews your paperwork isn't going to be a mind reader. You may find many great resume templates, however you will have to decide if they're likely to help or hurt your odds of landing an interview. The Importance of Resume Reviewer More than ever, you will want to concentrate on your specific qualifications, skills and accomplishments. Bear in mind that many businesses are looking for candidates that have a particular background, so it's important to list any skills, specifically technical, that you see relevant. Now you have taken an inventory of your relevant abilities, it's time to incorporate that which you have uncovered into your existing resume. Project portfolios go a ways in communicating both technical abilities and overall professional improvement.

Why Its Absolutely Necessary To Discover Your Passion - Work It Daily

Why It’s Absolutely Necessary To Discover Your Passion - Work It Daily Who do you want to be? Not what, but who? Related: 5 Steps To Finding Your Work Passion From the moment we entered grade school, we’ve been trained to think of ourselves as a ‘what.’ In Kindergarten, our teachers asked us, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We’d respond with, “A firefighter, a policeman, a princess.” Society got it wrong. Instead of training people to think about ‘what’ they want to be, we should have been teaching people to figure out ‘who’ they want to be. There’s a stark contrast between a ‘what’ and a ‘who.’ A ‘what’ is characterized by a title which never changes. A ‘who’ is an archetype, a symbol, something elemental. A ‘who’ leaves behind a legacy, charts new paths and braves new territories. When you figure out who you want to be, you unlock your potential and your purpose for life, and you discover your passion. Discovering your passion is necessary, because the world has rapidly evolved. The world we live in today no longer rewards mediocrity. Back in the day it was acceptable to go to work, do your job and leave. Not anymore. These days, employers expect more. The world we live in today rewards those with personality, pizzazz, and passion. As a result of this culture shift, it has now become absolutely necessary to discover your passion, because the days of sitting in your cubicle and pretending to enjoy your job will no longer fly. You will be discovered for the fraud that you are and removed from your position. So, instead of waiting for the clock to run out of time, you might as well discover your passion and pursue it relentlessly. Here is how you discover your passion: Dig deep and focus on your aptitude. What have you always been naturally-gifted at? What is it that has always come easy for you? Before you jump to the assertion that not everybody is gifted with passion, talent, or skills, take a step back and just focus. There’s more things which define talent beyond being a gifted athlete, musician, actor, or entrepreneur. That’s all you see in the media, but that’s not representative of reality. Your talent could simply be making people laugh. If that’s the case, showcase your talent on Vine or YouTube. Thousands of people are earning six-figures/year doing this. Maybe your talent is playing video games. There are also thousands of people making a living doing this as well. Maybe your talent is writing. Why not self-publish a book or start a blog? Maybe you don’t really have a skill but you just like to make people smile? You could create a viral video walking around town making people smile. Then you could expand upon your brand by developing a blog and a book which emphasizes the health benefits of smiling. Then you could create branded products. Maybe stuffed animals or characters with big goofy smiles. The sky is the limit! No matter what your passion or talent is, there’s a way to make it worth your while to pursue. The key to success is to establish yourself as an expert in whatever it is you’re passionate about. If you love making people smile. Become the ‘smile expert.’ If you love enjoy collecting vintage toys, become the ‘vintage toy collector expert.’ The important thing to understand about passion, its purpose and why it is necessary is because passion is your only escape mechanism from a job or a career you’re currently in that you do not enjoy. It’s your only ‘Get Out of Jail Free Card.’ It’s your only opportunity and your only chance to change your life. One thing that should not be mistaken or overstated is the financial reward that comes along with pursuing your passion. You could spend every spare moment you have for weeks, months or years and never earn a dime. However, if pursuing your passion adds positivity, enjoyment, and a sense of purpose in your life, the time spent is well worth it. Not to be understated, it’s also worth mentioning that earning a living pursuing your passion is now more possible than ever before. Thanks to the Internet and social media platforms, anybody can turn any hobby or interest into a profitable enterprise. It just takes hard work, time, and a product/content that provides value to other people’s lives. This post was originally published at an earlier date. Related Posts 7 Thoughts About Finding Your Passion In Life 6 Things Passion For Work Is NOT Your Career Path: Follow The Money Or Your Dreams? About the author Michael Price is the author of What Next? The Millennial's Guide to Surviving and Thriving in the Real World, endorsed by Barbara Corcoran of ABC's Shark Tank. He is also the founder of Conquer Career Course, where he teaches students how to increase their salary, build a career with longevity and become unemployment-proof. View the trailer below:     Disclosure: This post is sponsored by a CAREEREALISM-approved expert. You can learn more about expert posts here. Photo Credit: Shutterstock Have you joined our career growth club?Join Us Today!